(A Guide to Becoming an Adoptive Parent)
Content
Introduction
Criteria Requirements to
Become an Adoptive Parent
Questions to Ask Yourself
When Considering Adopting
a Baby
Preparing an Adoption Plan
What Kind of Adoption
Choosing the Right Adoption
Professional
Costs Related to Adopting a
Baby
Home Study Procedure
Conclusion
Introduction
The laws and policies which regulate who are
actually able to adopt a child will vary from state
to state, as well as from agency to agency. But
there are certain requirements that almost all
adoption agencies will be looking at when they talk
to those people who would like to adopt a baby.
What is important to know, however, is that,
although the provisions required by laws in each
state can not be either changed or ignored. But
there are very few, if any, requirements or rules
which are not inflexible.
However, if you do find yourself during the
adoption process having problems with a particular
rule or guideline, then it might be advisable if
you can see if that particular one can be waived.
You may be surprised that there are certain
exceptions where this can occur, if the
circumstances are right, or the right people have
asked for it to be waived.
Although you may think that you have the right to
adopt, this is simply just not the case. No one in
today’s society has the absolute right to adopt a
child, and can only do so after they have met
certain criteria that both the adoption agencies
and the government place.
It is therefore important that any prospective
people wishing to adopt a baby should carry out as
much research as possible on the subject. Learn
everything about the rules, regulations and
guidelines that can be imposed upon prospective
adoptive parents by the various adoption agencies.we will be taking you through the
basics of what is required in order for a couple or
single person to become an adoptive parent.
Criteria Requirements toBecome an Adoptive Parent
In this chapter, we will take a closer look at the
criteria a couple, or a person, will need to meet
in order to become the parent(s) of an adopted
baby.
Mandatory Legal Requirements
These are requirements in regard to legal and
procedural matters which have been imposed by the
State and County where the actual adoption will be
taking place. Normally, it is the requirements of
the state and county where the parents reside,
rather than where the baby was born. But be aware
that there are some states whose courts will allow
a baby’s adoption to be processed in them even if
the parents are not residents in that state.
Unfortunately, you will find that it is very
difficult to get any of these requirements either
modified or waived by the state where they have
been put in place.
Preferred Agency Requirements
These are the requirements which are imposed by
each adoption agency around the country. Their
requirements are ones which are above and beyond
those that have been imposed by the state lawsgoverning adoption matters. Such requirements will
vary from agency to agency, and will be based on
what the agency actually focuses on. Also, the
requirements that these agencies have in place will
depend on the type of adoptions that they handle,
and what economic and human resources they have
available to them. Plus, the requirements that
these agencies have in place will depend upon the
businesses social philosophy, and whether they have
commercial, non profit or public businesses
providing them with support.
What should be noted by any person wishing to adopt
a child is that these agencies are allowed to set
their own individual sets of criteria which must
work within the framework of their charter. Plus,
they also have the right, if they so wish, to make
changes to, or waive certain criteria that they
have in place if the circumstances call for it.
One criterion you may find that a lot of adoption
agencies have in place is that they will not allow
people over the age of 40 to adopt. Often there are
valid reasons as to why an agency has placed
certain restrictions on people who are wishing to
adopt a baby. Therefore, any would-be adoptive
parent(s) will need to spend some time looking for
an agency which has a set of requirements that they
feel comfortable with.
Birthparents Requirements
These requirements are especially important when
the adoption is an independent or “open” one. We
will be taking a closer look at the various kinds
of adoptions that take place a little later in this
book.
Today more than ever, birthparents are actually
playing a role in which families are chosen to
adopt their child. What this then means is that
they can actually impose certain criteria on the
agency to ensure that the right adoptive parents
have been chosen, in order to meet their
requirements.
However, it does provide those with the chance, if
they want to, of walking away from any potential
adoption if they do feel that they are unable to
meet the requirements that have been imposed upon
them by the birthparents. Certainly no parent can
be forced to place a child up for adoption if they
do not find the terms being provided as being
acceptable. However, the requirements of the
birthparents of a child who is being adopted
through a public agency are often absent from such
proceedings. This is because in most cases, the
rights of the child’s birthparents have already
been terminated by a court legally when the child
comes up for adoption.
Adoptive Parents Limitations
At some stage, all people wishing to adopt a baby
or child will have certain limits when it comes to
adopting, that they will not cross. All of these
they have imposed upon themselves, and will take
into consideration such factors as:-
1. Financial Issues
2. Their age
3. Their health
In addition, a number of other criteria and
limitations that they consider important to ensure
that, when adopting a baby or child, they provide
it with the best life possible. Often, the
additional limitations and requirements they place
upon themselves will be dependent on just how
comfortable they are with regards to the adoption.
Often those parents who do not feel good about a
certain situation, or the requirements that they
need to meet, will often not move forward with an
adoption.
Questions to Ask Yourself
When Considering Adopting a
Baby
If you are a couple who is starting out for the
first time in adopting a baby, then congratulations
are in order! However, it is important that you
learn as much as possible about what adoption is.
You also need to understand the commitment that you
will be making, and that it is going to be for the
rest of your life. Plus, it is important that you
learn everything there is to know about the legal
processes all would-be adoptive parents have to go
through in order to adopt a baby.
Today, there are newborns, as well as teenagers who
are looking to be adopted, often because their
birthparents (biological parents) are unable to
raise them on their own. Or it may be that these
children need to be in homes where there will be
loved and needed, and that time can be committed to
providing them with a stable and permanent family
environment.
Each year, hundreds of thousands of people across
the globe have chosen to adopt a child for a number
of different reasons.
1. It may be because they have wanted to adopt
a child for longer than they could remember.
2. They have decided to adopt a child, as they
are unable to have a child of their own.
3. It may be because they have family
connections, which provides them with the
opportunity to adopt a child. Often, this
happens in the cases where a couple has
remarried, and has children from a previous
marriage, and they wish them to take on the
identity of the new family.
However, when you are considering adopting a baby,
there are certain questions that a would-be
adoptive parent should be asking themselves. By
asking these, they will then find out if they are
willing, and are prepared to face the challenges
and the joys of becoming a parent to another
person’s baby or child.
The questions any would-be adoptive parent(s)
should be asking themselves are as follows:-
1. Just how do they feel about not being
related genetically to the child?
2. When the subject comes up, how do they feel
they will be able to discuss the matter of the
child’s adoption at a later date?
3. How can they help the child to understand
why they were placed up for adoption,
especially if there is little information
available about them, or they were abandoned,
or their life before being adopted was very
difficult?
4. As an
to allow
identity
and what
adoptive parent, will you be willing
the child to maintain their own
in relation to where they come from,
kind of cultural background they have?
5. As an adoptive parent, will you be willing
to deal with all issues relating to the baby’s
birthparents?
As well as the questions you should be asking
yourself above, there are other questions that need
to be asked in relation to trans-racial adoption,
international adoption and if you are going to be a
lone parent adopting a baby.
Once you have been able to answer these questions,
you can now move on to the next stage, which is
preparing a plan that will help you to manage the
various stages of the adoption process.
Preparing an Adoption Plan
Certainly one of the most important steps any
adoptive parent will take is to establish an
adoption plan. It is this plan which will help to
ensure that the adoption process is a much more
pleasant experience for both them, and the baby
that they wish to adopt. It is this plan which will
guide them through the processes of contacting the
adoption agencies and professionals, as well as
finding out details of the child, and any other
person that you are likely to come into contact
with during the adoption process.
It is a well known principle that people are likely
to fail if they do not plan things correctly.
Therefore, if you really want to succeed at
becoming an adoptive parent, you need to set
yourself goals and make a plan in order that these
can then be achieved.
When putting a plan together, there are certain
things which you will need to take into
consideration. Remember, when it comes to adopting
a baby, this is not just a process that, once the
baby is at home with you is completed, but rather
is a set of processes that you will have to be
dealing with until the child has grown up and left
home.
Remember that when it comes to adopting a baby,
this will end up changing your life forever, and
certainly for those parents who are unable to have
children of their own, will add a whole new
dimension to the way their view their lives in the
future.
It is important that any would-be adoptive parent
should not limit just what kind of child they
should be adopting. For many parents who are
looking to adopt a child, it is important that they
resist the urges to only consider a small group of
children that they would be willing to adopt. You
may well discover that you can be more fulfilled if
you actually adopt a child who you would not
otherwise have considered as being suitable.
Also, there is no reason why you should not take
into consideration adopting more than one child.
Unfortunately, a lot of parents will not consider
the fact that they actually have the right to adopt
more than one child, or they just do not include
this option with any plans that they may have in
place.
When it comes to preparing your plan, there are
certain things you will need to include within it.
1. What kind of adoption it is you wish to do?
2. Selecting the right adoption professional or
agency
3. The costs of adopting a baby.
4. Going through the home study process
5. How to find a child
In the next few chapters, we will be looking at the
above stages of setting up a plan in more detail to
help you with learning about how to adopt a baby.
What Kind of Adoption
Today, there are many different ways in which
people are able to adopt a child. However, the
first thing any prospective adoptive parents should
be doing is to explore their own capabilities, as
well as learning more about what the adoptive baby
or child will need.
In this chapter, we will now be taking a closer
look at the various adoption options a couple, or a
single person, will have when it comes to adopting
a baby or child.
Domestic Adoption
These adoptions are ones which are arranged through
licensed agencies, attorneys, adoption
professionals or even a doctor. When choosing this
type of adoption, a couple, or single person, is
able to choose a child whom they feel will be
suitable, and will fit into their family situation.
With this type of adoption, it is normally the
parents of the child who is up for adoption that
will choose the type of family that they wish their
child to be adopted by.
With this kind of adoption, the parents of the
child, as well as those who are adopting them, will
be making decisions together about the future of
the child. They will discuss just what kind of
contact the child will have with its biological
parents in the future, if any.
Inter Country (International) Adoption
This is where the parents of the child to be
adopted resides and are citizens in one country,
and the people wishing to adopt reside, and are
citizens in another.
Because the governments of both these countries
will actually be involved in the adoption process,
then it is advisable for the parent to take a look
at the requirements that their country requires in
relation to international adoptions. For the USA, a
would-be adoptive parent who wishes to consider
this kind of adoption option should visit the State
Department’s website. Through this, they will learn
whether the country they wish to adopt from is
legally allowed to take place in the USA. In most
cases, a lot of children which are adopted in this
way will often be found in either privately, or
state run orphanages in the country where they
reside.
It is important to remember that in many cases,
babies and children which are adopted using this
option will have been raised in a different kind of
culture from their adoptive parents. Therefore the
parents will need to learn everything about the
culture they have been brought up in, as well as
learning about their language and the kinds of
foods that they eat. This will then help to ensure
that the child is still provided with their own
sense of identity in relation to where they come
from originally.
Kinship or Relative Adoption
This is another type of adoption which can take
place, and is the type where a family will adopt a
child who has ties to their family, or through a
relationship that a child has with that family.
Such adoptions include those where a stepmother or
stepfather has adopted their new partner’s
children. Grandparents who have adopted their
children’s children for some reason (maybe the
parent’s were killed in an accident or they feel
that the couple is unable to cope with bringing up
the children themselves). It may be a family friend
or even a teacher that adopts a child if, for
example, they have found that the child’s
biological parents are in fact unable to care for
them.
With all these kinds of adoptions, a licensed
professional is required in order to ensure that
all the legal requirements relating to an adoption
are met, and to ensure that it is finalized using
the right procedures.
Domestic Adoption from State Foster Care
The children who are adopted using this option will
have spent some time in either temporary foster
care, or another welfare situation. In a lot of
cases, the agencies will often want to arrange for
numerous siblings to be adopted together, as well
as loan children. Unfortunately, these kinds of
children will have often come from a very difficult
background, and will not understand about what
commitment is, and so they will require more
attention and commitment than others.
Parents who decide to adopt children through this
method will find that they are provided with access
to many Government benefits. Including Medicaid,
subsidies for finding the right kind of tutoring
for the child, and other requirements to help the
child transfer into a more permanent and loving
environment.
Along with the above adoption options, there are a
number of others that need to be taken into
consideration as well, and these are as follows.
Open Adoption
This is where the birth parents are able to specify
the kind of family which they feel is the most
appropriate for the child to be placed with. The
birth parents will be able to meet with the family
that they have chosen, and be able to identify
information which can then be shared between both
sets of parents. With this type of adoption, the
parents will constantly be in contact over the
years, and so both sets will need to ensure that
they are willing to make a life long commitment to
the child that is being adopted.
Semi Open Adoption
With this kind of adoption procedure, the birth
parents again have the right to specify certain
characteristics or traits that they want the
adoptive parents to have. Also the birth parents
have the right, if they wish, to meet with the
adoptive parents either before the baby is born, or
after the placement has taken place. Once the child
has been adopted, then the birth parents have the
right to receive pictures or letters from the
adoptive parents, but must be passed through the
agency and not directly.
Close Adoption
This is certainly the more common type of adoption
option that many would-be prospective parents and
birth parents will choose to use. But with this
particular one, the birth parents will often have
little or no control over who their child is placed
with when they are adopted. Certainly with this
kind of adoption, the birth parents will find that
they do not get provided with information on how
their child is fairing, or where they will be
residing once they have been adopted. Plus, the
adoptive parents may find that they are provided
with very little information with regard to the
child’s social history before they adopted them.
At the end of the day, the type of the adoption a
prospective adoptive parent chooses, will then
determine the kind of professional that they will
be working with during the adoption process. In the
next chapter, we will be looking at the kinds of
professionals who get involved in adoptions.
Choosing the Right Adoption
Professional
When it comes to choosing the right kind of person
or agency to help you with the adoption process,
there are certainly things that a would-be adoptive
parent should be looking for.
First, it is important that you compile a list of
all those professionals who you feel are able to
meet certain basic requirements that you have.
This should be just what kind of adoption it is you
are looking at, where they are located and how much
they charge to help carry out the procedures
involved in a couple wanting to adopt a baby or
child.
Next, you will need to be asking certain questions
of them in order to ensure that they do not have
requirements which are likely to invalidate your
chance of becoming an adoptive parent.
1. Do they have certain requirements that any
would-be adoptive parents need to meet in
relation to their professional status, their
marital status, their age(s), along with
details regarding health issues and what kind
of income they have coming in to the home?
2. Just how long does it take for them to
arrange an adoption for the prospective
parents?
3. What pre and post adoption services do the
agency, or professional, provide to both the
biological and adoptive parents?
4. Does this particular agency or professional
provide the prospective adoptive parents and
biological parents with a free consultation?
5. For how long have they been in business, and
how many adoptions have been completed, and how
many have failed?
6. Just how long should a couple expect to wait
before the baby they wish to adopt becomes
available?
Once all these questions have been answered by the
professional, you will then need to arrange for
them to provide you with an itemized list of all
fees and costs that they anticipate you will need
to pay during the adoption process. It is essential
that you have a clear understanding of what is
included within their fees, and what is not. You
may find that you will need to pay additional fees
or expenses for the birth mother, as these may not
be included within those that the agency provide to
you.
Also, look at choosing an adoption agency or
professional where their child’s biological parents
have some involvement in their child’s adoption.
Generally, the results that occur using this method
are much better than those where the biological
parents have no involvement whatsoever.
Also you need to discover what information that
agency or professional who is carrying out the
adoption has on the child’s health, as well as
their medical history.
As well as the above, when it comes to choosing the
right kind of adoption agency or professional,
would-be adoptive parents should ensure that they
are able to see a copy of the contract that they
use for all adoptions. If no contract is provided,
then it is best to walk away from such an agency or
professional, as often they are carrying out such
adoptions illegally, and this could result in
problems for the adoptive parents in the future.
Also, enquire of them whether they have had any of
the adoptions they carried out previously
overturned, and the reasons why this has occurred?
Any reputable adoption agency or professional
should be willing to provide as much information as
possible about themselves, as well as about any
prospective child. You should also look at asking
them if they have any facilities in place where, if
you require counseling yourself, you can readily
obtain it, and just what qualifications they hold
in regards to placing children and babies up for
adoption.
Finally, you should ask the agency or professional
if there is anything else that they feel is
important that you, as a prospective adoptive
parent, should know about.
Any reputable adoption agency or professional
should be willing and open about all aspects of
their business.
Costs Related to Adopting a
Baby
The actual cost of adopting a baby will vary from
agency to agency, and state to state. For some, it
may cost a couple nothing, while others it may cost
up to $40,000.
The factors which are going to affect just how much
the adoption will cost include the following:-
1. The type of adoption
2. The type of agency or professional used to
facilitate the adoption.
3. The child’s age, and the circumstances from
which they have been brought up in.
Therefore it is essential that all prospective
adoptive parents check out each agency or
professional that they are considering using to
help with the adoption. By doing this, they will be
able to find out more about the specific costs in
relation to their particular situation and
circumstances.
Below, we provide a list of the range of costs a
parent can expect to pay in relation to the
different kinds of adoption options available to
them.
1. Foster Care - $0 to $2,500
2. Licensed Private Adoption Agencies - $5,000
to more than $40,000
3. Independent - $8,000 to more than $40,000
4. Facilitated or Unlicensed - $5,000 to over
$40,000
5. Inter Country (International) - $7,000 to
$30,000
Although these figures may seem a little daunting
at first, it is important that, as a prospective
adoptive parent, you should explore all the
adoption options and the costs associated with
them. In fact in some cases, you may well discover
the maximum figure provided above can be a lot
less. Also, you may find that there are certain
resources that you can avail yourself of which can
help to offset the costs that you are facing during
the adoption procedure.
Also you should break the costs (in total) down
into different categories in order that you are
able to understand what exactly is involved in the
procedure, and will help you to determine the range
of costs that you are likely to be faced with.
Plus, being able to understand the different types
of costs involved with the different adoption
options will then help you decide which option is
best for you.
The types of expenses that any prospective adoptive
parent is going to be facing in the future, when
adopting a baby, include the following:-
1. Universal Expenses
These are fees that all adoptive parents are going
to have pay, and will include both home study
expenses, as well as court costs. However, there
are some cases where these may be offset and be
reimbursed at a later date.
2. Legal Fees
Whether it is a domestic or inter-country
(international) adoption, it will need to be
finalized in a court of law in any state in the
USA. However, you may find that with some of the
inter-county adoptions, these can also be finalized
in a court where the child originally comes from.
However, in such cases, these then do not need to
be finalized in a USA court of law, but many
parents often opt to do this in order to provide
them with additional protection for the future.
Generally, the costs for the legalization of the
adoption in court will cost between $500 and
$2,000. But you will then need to include fees for
your legal representation during the court hearing,
and these can range from $2,500 to $12,000 or even
more, depending on which state the adoption is
being carried out in.
However, you may find that in some places, the
adoption can be finalized without the adoptive
parents needing legal representation.
3. Adoption Specific Expenses
These will be fees that the prospective adoptive
parents will need to pay on top of the universal
expenses that have been described above. This
includes the costs for the various different
adoption options would-be adoptive parents can
choose from.
However, there may be resources available to you as
an adoptive parent, which can help to provide you
with additional funds to meet these costs.
You may discover that you are entitled to one, or
some, or even all of the following to help with the
costs involved in adopting a baby.
1. Tax credits
2. Subsidies
3. Employer Benefits
4. Loans or Grants
So it is important that you carry out as much
research before hand when making the decision to
adopt a baby so that you know just what it is going
to cost you, and what ways, if any, that these
costs can be alleviated.
But what is also important to remember is that, not
only will you be incurring costs during the
adoption process, but you will be faced with costs
that you will need to pay once the child has been
adopted and becomes a member of your family. Prior
to deciding to adopt a child, you need to take into
consideration the actual cost of brining up a child
from the day that they take up residence in your
home, to the day they leave, or when they actually
start to earn money for themselves.
Home Study Procedure
Once a couple, or person, has applied to adopt a
baby, then they will need to undergo a home study.
It is through this that the agency or professional
will be able to evaluate and determine the
following factors.
1. The person’s desire or commitment to
adopting a baby.
2. They will explore just what are their
reasons for wishing to adopt a baby.
3. It provides them with a chance to evaluate
you as a parent.
4. It helps them to educate the prospective
adoptive parent, or parents, about what
adopting a baby or child entails.
Although there is no set format for the way in
which home studies are carried out by adoption
agencies or professionals, they do, however, need
to follow certain regulations that have been set
out by the state. But as long as they follow these
regulations, the agency or professional is entitled
to set up their own specific application package,
policies and procedures that they use.
At the end of the home study period, a written
report is then provided by a social worker, who has
met with the prospective adoptive parents on
several occasions. They will arrange to meet each
of the prospective parents individually, as well as
together. Plus, one of the meetings that will take
place will be held at the prospective adoptive
parents own home.
Generally, the whole home study process will take
between 3 to 6 months in order to complete, but
sometimes it may take longer or less time,
depending upon the agency or professional being
used. Plus, the time it also takes to complete will
also depend on the actual state where the
prospective parents are residing.
Generally, the information that is required when
the home study procedure is put in to place, once
the application has been made, include the
following:-
1. Details relating to the couples personal and
family backgrounds. They will want to know
about the way in which the couple was brought
up themselves, if they have any brothers or
sisters, what major events that are key to the
way they were brought up and what they have
learned from these events.
2. They will want to know about people who are
considered to be significant in the adoptive
parent’s lives, and why they are so
significant.
3. Everything about their marriage and the
kinds of relationships they have with their
family members.
4. What has motivated them to become an
adoptive parent?
5. What expectations do they have for the child
that they adopt as they grow up?
6. What feelings they have for the baby that
they are going to be adopting?
7. They will want to learn about the couple’s
parenting skills, and the ways in which they
are going to be able to integrate the adopted
child in to their family, especially if they
already have other children.
8. What kind of family environment the adopted
baby or child will be going into.
9. The agency or professional will, through
home study, learn about the applicant’s health.
This includes looking at their history. Plus,
they will want to know about how they will deal
with health issues of the adopted baby;
including what insurance coverage they will
have in place, and who will be taking care of
the child when the parents are not around, or
if they are both working.
10. They will also carry out full background
checks on each of the adoptive parents to be
sure that they have no criminal records. Plus,
they will want to obtain references from
friends, family and employers.
It is important, however, to note that the home
study is there to help the prospective parents to
become aware of their own particular traits and
behaviors, and find ways in which they can be
changed, or ways in which they can live with them
once the baby becomes part of the family.
Conclusion
As you will soon discover, there are many steps
involved in the adoption process which are common
to the types of adoptions that are available today.
But what is important to remember, however, is that
the adoption laws will often differ from state to
state, as well as from country to country.
In order to find out just what these are, you
should speak with a State Adoption Specialist in
relation to where the adoption is taking place.
While, when it comes to international adoptions,
you will need to contact the US State Department in
order to find out what the laws and regulations
are.
Also, remember when it comes to choosing an agency
or professional to help you adopt a baby, it is
important that you talk to others who have used
their services before. There are plenty of places
online where you can chat with other parents who
have adopted before, whether it is in the USA, or
from another country.
But at the end of the day, it is you who will know
just what you are capable of, and what it is you
can offer to a baby which is being placed up for
adoption.
However, there are certain guidelines used by most
adoption agencies and professionals, and which are
common to whatever type of adoption option you
choose. Details of these can be found on many sites
that offer advice and help in relation to how to
adopt a baby.
But hopefully the information contained within this
book will help to give any prospective adoptive
parent a better understanding of what is required
of them when it comes to adopting a baby.
0 comments:
Post a Comment